Tuesday, November 25, 2003

gone fishin'

I'm taking a vacation ... going to Minneapolis to meet my niece. So, Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I wish you all the best!

Saturday, November 15, 2003

The Ticket Was Free

Oh how I wish I had a mild form of Tourette's Syndrome. One which would enable me to shout and heckle my way through deplorable performances.

I went to see the tragedy that is Radio City Christmas Spectacular featuring the "Rockettes" last night. I did manage to mutter "PLANT!" loudly when they pulled the "regular little girl" out of the audience and she transformed into a magical ballerina! But that was about all I could muster. Though I was dying to yell, "YOU DRUNKEN SLUT!" every time Mrs. Claus stumbled across the stage.

The most amazing thing to me was that after 12 or so ridiculous "Christmas as economy-boosting shopping event" performances, they switched gears and had the Rockettes enact The Birth of Jesus. Then we were treated to a description of Our Lord and his One Solitary Life. Why can't we keep the Savior out of the theatre? Hmmm? And do you really think Mary was dressed like a whore?

I do have to say this: they made excellent use of their cast of midgets, and they kept the racist overtones of the show to a bare minimum. Kudos to you, Rockettes! Now if you could only learn to keep straight lines... I think my sister's pom pon squad did a better job than you.

Monday, November 03, 2003

'Tis The Season

Unfortunately, 'tis not quite yet the season to be jolly. No, instead 'tis the season for my roommate, crazier than a shithouse rat, to store food on the floor in the corner of the kitchen. For days at a time. Oh, God, how I love this season. The season where I can't eat a single thing he's cooked unless he can somehow guarantee that all of the ingredients are fresh.

And speaking of rats ("speaking of shoes, I don't care about shoes"), you know, we have had a bit of a rat problem in the past. Most likely due to the fact that we compost (mmm, heap of rotting food right next to the house), but also due to the fact that my roommate sawed several holes in the house years ago so that his cat (who no longer lives here) could come and go at will. So, holes in basement walls plus no more cat plus all the free food one could want sitting on the floor in the corner of the kitchen (why am I reminded of "in a van down by the river?") ... do you see where I'm going with this?

Sigh. If only I had some job security ... then I could get my own deluxe apartment in the ska-ha-hy and never have to live with anyone ever again.

In other good news, I am No. 5 on the MSN Search page for recurring tuberculosis (tm). I think that's pretty damn good. But let me just tell you this, the reason there's a tm after "recurring tuberculosis" is that I am the only one who ever has had it or who ever will have it. It's my disease. Mine. If you want recurring tetter or recurring dropsy, you go right ahead. But leave my tuberculosis alone!

Thank you for your support.